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That is after I'm done hacking, wheezing, and trying not to vomit all over the place. My brother is always drinking the stuff, and it seems like whenever I got out to lunch with him he convinces me to try it again. There must be some benefits of wheatgrass consumption, because since he's started on it he's lost weight, gotten two promotions, met the woman of his dreams and proposed to her, and recently won a new car in a random contest he entered. I was talking to my doctor about the benefits of wheatgrass a little while back, and he actually looked at me and said 'I'm not really sure'. It's probably the only time I've ever heard a doctor say that, so it left an impression on me.

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Anyway, he of course went on into some lecture about vitamins and antioxidants, which he suspected were in wheatgrass, and how all that stuff can help you avoid things like cancer and generally live longer. None of what he said was really all that interesting to me; I wanted women and cars and more money. While my doctor is convinced that my brother's good fortune of late has nothing to do with the wheatgrass, I don't think he knows what he's talking about. The connection is obvious. It's pretty awful stuff, but I'm trying to drink it more often these days to find out for myself what the benefits of wheatgrass may be.

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So far I haven't had much luck. Actually, since I started drinking it more regularly in the last two weeks I've been hit by a car, my girlfriend left me, my computer died, and I've gotten two parking tickets. At this point I'm pretty well convinced that there aren't any benefits of wheatgrass drinks and I'm about ready to stop. Clearly the benefits of wheatgrass work for some people, but have an opposite effect for others, like myself.

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